Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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