I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
