you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
