u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You peed on a flamingo?!?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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