found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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