So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
