I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
