Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
