Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize