I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can I color on your dick again?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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