We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
