I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
