I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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