She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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