That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Mom said you looked used
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
