you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
