what if every blade of grass was a penis?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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