glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
