Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
