Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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