she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
