it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
