he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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