how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
