Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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