Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
