whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
