I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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