i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
