i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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