i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
