Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just want to make out with him forever
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
