i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
