Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
