remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
