Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
