we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Holy shit dude........stairs
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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