i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
