i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
