jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
