Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
