lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize