I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
