Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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