remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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