You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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