You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
