so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she peed on how many people?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i think my cat just said my name.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize