I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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