There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
