i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
