This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
