med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
