My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
