If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i believe in u and ur pee
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
