Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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