Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
