I'm drive I can fine osifer
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize