It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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