The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can't put those talents on a resume
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
