Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
