girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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